Tarzan the Tourist

I know it gets humid here in DC, but it’s not a jungle for crying out loud

shiteous sequins

Instead, this “doctor” who allows fat people to make excuses for / blame others their sad state, just wants to sit back on the couch with her Bonbons and feel pitiful instead of getting up and doing something about it. It is illogical, ridiculous, and emotional to say the least. (An abundance of fat cells does increase the amount of hormones in a person’s body, by the way.) I despise people who just sit back and accept a $hitty situation instead of trying to fix it like any rational human being would do.

On to the “manifesto” and my commentary… If you have any commentary of your own to add, please do!
Fat Health Care Manifesto

“Blaming fat people for the rising cost of health care is the moral equivelent of punching someone in the face, then suing them for the cost of dry cleaning when they happen to bleed on you.”
–First off, let me say that this is a terrible analogy. Nobody punched you in the stomach to make you fat; you did that all on your own. You can’t blame anybody but yourself for your inadequacy.

“Aside from all the malarky about blaming adipose tissue for everything from genetic disorders to hangnails, most of the rising cost is attributed to “treatment” of “obesity”.
And I say No.
I am putting my foot down.
I will NOT accept blame for the cost of eradicating me.”
–Ok, then just don’t go to the doctor when you get obesity-related illnesses and diabetes. Problem solved.

“I will not accept blame for the side effects of ineffective drugs, crippling elective and uneccesary surgery, institutionalized shame and disordered eating that is forced upon me in the hopes of making me disappear.”
–I’m not really sure what drugs she’s talking about, but spell check would have been helpful.

“I refuse to own the discomfort my body causes others.”
–That’s too bad, because it really is your fault. This “don’t blame me for the consequences of my own actions” attitude is getting pretty prevalent in America these days, and it sends the wrong message to our citizens and our youth.

“I will not admit fault in this, this cultural purge of the two-thirds otherness that reminds them of the futility of their quest for immortality through better pharmaceuticals.”
–I’m still not getting the connection between being fat and taking drugs to be immortal… but I digress.

“I refuse this particular bill. I plead not guilty, and reverse the charges. I am not to blame for their desire to make everyone look, act, eat and sicken alike.”
–This seems poetic, but not necessarily accurate or effective. No one “desires” that you look like everyone else. They just want you to be healthy. They don’t want to spend their hard earned cash to pay for your fat ass when it’s sick because it’s so fat. If I break my ankle running, I won’t ask you to pay for my cast. Return the favor.

Hey unapologetically fat people – you probably have a job (you can afford food), you probably have a nice house to live in (you have a couch, right?), you have a computer (to write pity-me blog posts and comment on them all day) and you probably don’t stress over many things like how to pay the bills or who will take care of your child while you are working 16 hours/day like those without healthcare do. Even stressing about your weight was too much bother, so you’ve decided to deny the issue. Instead of sitting around thinking thoughts of pity on yourself, why don’t you head to the gym and run on a treadmill? Or better yet, go volunteer at a soup kitchen where you can meet people who really need all the food that you take for granted. In the meantime, you might burn some calories. It wouldn’t kill you.

Tourist: “Excuse me, is the Jefferson Memorial on Roosevelt Island?”
Me: “No, the Roosevelt Memorial is on Roosevelt Island.”
Tourist: “Oh really? Then where is it?”

I thought about giving them walking directions, but figured it would be equally as mean as futile.

Well, I guess it’s hard to stand to the [right] of the escalator when your body mass is taking up the whole thing.

Ironically, I think I see a gym bag….