Category Archives: Tourists

It’s a jungle out there!

Tarzan the Tourist

Tarzan the Tourist

I know it gets humid here in DC, but it’s not a jungle for crying out loud


Tourist Fashion – Sequin Insects

shiteous sequins

shiteous sequins

Tourist Directions

This weekend I took my dogs for a walk down by the Potomac at Theodore Roosevelt Island. For those of you visiting, this island has nature walks in the swamp which provide a nice “getaway” from the city. Aside from the planes flying directly overhead as they approach Reagan airport, the sound of cars driving down 66 and the GW parkway, and your proximity to 4 Starbucks within walking distance, you’d never know you were in the city. Anyway, as we left the island and headed back to Rosslyn, a tourist approached me and actually asked this question:

Tourist: “Excuse me, is the Jefferson Memorial on Roosevelt Island?”
Me: “No, the Roosevelt Memorial is on Roosevelt Island.”
Tourist: “Oh really? Then where is it?”

I thought about giving them walking directions, but figured it would be equally as mean as futile.

Global Tourism

I wasn’t aware that you could take a bus from another world, but according to these people, you can. Is that false advertising?


Tye-dyed pants

Is this really necessary?


Tourist Trick – Random Statue Poses

Mom – “Kids – get up on that Lion thing so I can take your picture!”
Kids – “What is that thing, and what does it have to do with Washington DC?”
Mom – “Shut up and look like you’re having fun! Every body say OBAMA”


Fat Disadvantage – Pants


Fat Disadvantage: Your pants get scrunched up and twisted between your massive thighs, giving you a wedgie and the appearance of walking through a flood.